And Wrong Way To Play Hard To Get
Playing-hard-to-get is -- without any doubt
-- one of the most effective ways of being
“cool" in the dating ritual. But not
everyone knows how to PLAY. Some men and
women play naturally, others have taken time
to relearn how to play but the majority of
men and women JUST DON’T GET IT!
More technically it goes like this:
1. Those who think they MUST
These are men and women who play to win.
They are not at all interested in WHO they
are playing with, all they want is to win
because winning means that someone else
lost. Failing to win over one man or woman,
they’ll move onto another and another,
laying layer after layer of failure on
themselves. And even when they win, they
lose interest because the game is over, and
they have to get on with the next win. They
are not concerned at all about the people
they use along the way -- men and woman who
are left wondering “he/she seemed so
interested in me, how can he/she lose
interest so fast and not even care".
2. Those who CAN'T play-hard-to-get
These are men and women who somehow believe
that their survival and happiness depends on
having that particular ONE man or woman.
These people tend not to play well because
they find it impossible to relax or adopt
the flexible unafraid attitude that
playing-hard-to-get calls for. They either
play-too-hard-to-get because they are driven
by neediness or because they are trying to
prove something (like they are also
important). They are always scheming and
trying to find ways to manipulate or deceive
because they don’t believe that they deserve
or will get what they want the "straight
way". Unfortunately this undervaluing their
own strengths, abilities and worth makes it
impossible to get what they deserve or want.
The opposite sex sense this and either take
advantage of their “neediness" or reject it.
3. Those who WANT NOT TO HAVE TO
These are mostly men and women who suffer
from double consciousness, the consciousness
of entitlement and the consciousness of
inadequacy and incompleteness. They struggle
with a deep-rooted rage that they blame on
the unleveled playing field and the
injustice against their particular gender.
They reluctantly and unwillingly play
because they think that they must play (win
or lose) even when it’s crystal clear to
them (and those they are playing with) that
they can’t play (they are needy and
desperate). Their deep-rooted rage makes
them oblivious and immune to the fact that
they are incredibly irritating. They keep on
playing even when there is no game to play
or till a man or woman blocks their number
or puts out a restraining order. And even
then, they want to know “why you’re not
giving them a chance."
4. Those who DON’T play-hard-to-get
These are men and women who strongly believe
that if there is a finite probability of
something happening, given an infinite
amount of time, it WILL happen -- and they
have a very valid point BUT this is not the
reason they don’t play. They don’t play
because they are fixated on the notion that
all “playing" is inherently bad. As far as
they are concerned, “playing" is for
children and not for adults. They’ll give
you the PC talk but don’t want to hear what
you have to say if it contradicts their
view. And because “playing" is such a dirty
word according to them, there is not much
playing and fun in a relationship with these
kinds of people.
5. Those who DON’T HAVE TO
These are men and women with a very strong
sense of self, they know who they are, what
they want and know how to get what they want
without causing pain and suffering to
themselves or to others. They are willing to
play, love to play, enjoy playing, KEEP IT
REAL and have the RIGHT reasons for
playing-hard-to-get and that is: CATCH THE
ONE who has the “staying power" and knows
how to play A FUN GAME. But if playing
brings stress and unhappiness than mutual
happiness and positive bonding, they don’t
want anything to do with it because it’s not
a fun game to play.
If you want to become successful in the game
of “Playing-hard-to-get", I mean successful
like in “fun game to play with a fun person"
you must relearn the qualities that make
children enjoyable to play with. You must
relearn how (and be willing) to be
extravagant with your:
1) Time - You need to cultivate a sense of
timelessness and let the play find its own
end just as it found its own beginning.
2) Energy - You need to focus your attention
on what you are doing without fear of what
might prove difficult or complex.
3) Emotions - You must provide room for
emotional expression, vulnerability and for
doing new things.
4) Self - Playing requires that you “forget"
yourself (concerns for winning or loosing,
and the neediness) and just play because
it’s fun to play and because it’s necessary
for your mental, physical, emotional and
spiritual heath -- and the health of any
Now go out there and play the RIGHT way… :-D
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