Playing Hard To get With Someone Who Takes You For Granted
Does Your Man or Woman Treat
You Like You're Going No Where?
It’s true that
men and women are naturally attracted to
mysterious and elusive people; they want to
feel like they found a hidden treasure. But
mysterious and elusive doesn’t mean become
inaccessible --do not answer the phone,
stand them up, pretend you are busy and all
that stuff. If you disappear he or she has
no body to chase.
Most people who play these kind of coy games
end up sitting by the phone listening to the
ring, ring... ring...ring... all the while
wondering whether thy should pick up the
phone or not. It’s immature and emotionally
unhealthy to mess with your own emotions.
Allow the other person to access your
already-busy life and let him or her be able
to contact you, but go on with your own life
as you normally would. Don’t change your
whole lifestyle for someone else, and please
don’t pretend to have a life just to get him
or her to chase you. The only person who’ll
get hurt is you because you are the only one
who knows what you are doing. The other
person might actually think you are too busy
that’s why you don’t pick up the phone.
Get a real life, a career, a hobby,
volunteer or do something for someone else,
go see a movie, make plans for a guys’ or
girls’ night out -- just make sure it
doesn’t involve anyone’s dates. If he or she
doesn’t call, your day or time was not
wasted because you were not sitting waiting.
When your life is not programmed around his
or her schedule you can afford not to sound
too eager or desperate when he or she says.
“I’ll call you”. Instead of saying, “OK,
I’ll wait for your call”; you can
comfortably say “I’ll speak to you soon."
And when he or she calls, whenever, you’ll
have real plans. You can then invite him or
her into your interesting life by suggesting
things to do that you both enjoy.
For example, he or she may suggest that you
get together the same evening you have
hockey/dance class, instead of hurriedly
canceling your hockey game or evening class,
you can say, “I have a hockey game/dance
class on Tuesday, do you want to come to the
game/class?" If he or she says, “No,
Thursday is not good for me" and doesn’t
suggest another day or time, you can leave
the ball in his or her court by saying “If
you change your mind about Thursday evening,
you know where to find me".
If he or she suggests another day or time
and you have nothing lined up, the two of
you can go ahead and have a great time. If
you have something else lined up, you can
say, "Hmmm, Friday is not good for me
either, how about Saturday afternoon. I am
volunteering at the Sick Children's Hospital
until 2.00. p.m., you can join me or we can
meet up at say, 3.00. p.m."
This sends the message that your life is
full and exciting and he or she is welcome
to share it with you, if he or she wants to.
If not, life goes on.
The fact is, if you have a lot of exciting
things going on in your life people will
want to become part of it. And when you're
actually enjoying your life, it’s not game
playing because you're not pretending to be
busy to try to mess with his or her mind.
Allowing the other person to access your
already-busy life and letting him or her be
able to contact is only a small part of the
Many people who try to play hard-to-get get
to a certain stage of the process, and the
relationship starts to have serious.
Sometimes, timing is everything -- knowing
how far to run and how fast is a very
important part of the process. And there is
a point at which you should allow yourself
to get caught or the other person loses
interest in the chase.
This is very important. In fact, if you get
it, this could be the most important dating
and relationship advice you'll ever get on
keeping a relationship fresh and vital.