Does Your Man or Woman Treat You Like You're Going No Where?

It’s true that men and women are naturally attracted to mysterious and elusive people; they want to feel like they found a hidden treasure. But mysterious and elusive doesn’t mean become inaccessible --do not answer the phone, stand them up, pretend you are busy and all that stuff. If you disappear he or she has no body to chase.

Most people who play these kind of coy games end up sitting by the phone listening to the ring, ring... ring...ring... all the while wondering whether thy should pick up the phone or not. It’s immature and emotionally unhealthy to mess with your own emotions.

Allow the other person to access your already-busy life and let him or her be able to contact you, but go on with your own life as you normally would. Don’t change your whole lifestyle for someone else, and please don’t pretend to have a life just to get him or her to chase you. The only person who’ll get hurt is you because you are the only one who knows what you are doing. The other person might actually think you are too busy that’s why you don’t pick up the phone.

Get a real life, a career, a hobby, volunteer or do something for someone else, go see a movie, make plans for a guys’ or girls’ night out -- just make sure it doesn’t involve anyone’s dates. If he or she doesn’t call, your day or time was not wasted because you were not sitting waiting.

When your life is not programmed around his or her schedule you can afford not to sound too eager or desperate when he or she says. “I’ll call you”. Instead of saying, “OK, I’ll wait for your call”; you can comfortably say “I’ll speak to you soon."

And when he or she calls, whenever, you’ll have real plans. You can then invite him or her into your interesting life by suggesting things to do that you both enjoy.

For example, he or she may suggest that you get together the same evening you have hockey/dance class, instead of hurriedly canceling your hockey game or evening class, you can say, “I have a hockey game/dance class on Tuesday, do you want to come to the game/class?" If he or she says, “No, Thursday is not good for me" and doesn’t suggest another day or time, you can leave the ball in his or her court by saying “If you change your mind about Thursday evening, you know where to find me".

If he or she suggests another day or time and you have nothing lined up, the two of you can go ahead and have a great time. If you have something else lined up, you can say, "Hmmm, Friday is not good for me either, how about Saturday afternoon. I am volunteering at the Sick Children's Hospital until 2.00. p.m., you can join me or we can meet up at say, 3.00. p.m."

This sends the message that your life is full and exciting and he or she is welcome to share it with you, if he or she wants to. If not, life goes on.
The fact is, if you have a lot of exciting things going on in your life people will want to become part of it. And when you're actually enjoying your life, it’s not game playing because you're not pretending to be busy to try to mess with his or her mind.

Allowing the other person to access your already-busy life and letting him or her be able to contact is only a small part of the puzzle.
Many people who try to play hard-to-get get to a certain stage of the process, and the relationship starts to have serious. Sometimes, timing is everything -- knowing how far to run and how fast is a very important part of the process. And there is a point at which you should allow yourself to get caught or the other person loses interest in the chase.

This is very important. In fact, if you get it, this could be the most important dating and relationship advice you'll ever get on keeping a relationship fresh and vital.